Order up

It is a very internal thing, watching fresh off the boat desis order at the restaurants in the US. Using complicated hand gestures to point to condiments at Subway to asking for noodles at McD's, a handful of instances that insight into our collective assured ordering skills.

A few years ago, when we still liked Denny's, we were sitting around a table and at the end of the table was seated a bugger from the heartland of tamilnadu. A monolingual for most of his life, he was a simple man of few words (in English). While placing an order, he was offered a choice of breads: White, wheat or rye. Confronted with this staggering set of choices, he stuttered, "Yeah, yeah, that only!", leaving the waitress bemused.

A few weeks ago, we were seated in Chilli's, and my friend was suffering from an upset stomach. He tried to order a salad, and we all know how good desis are with salads. I will refrain from naming the person, but lets call him Shiva prasad. So, shiva took the bold step to order salad, a hitherto unknown territory for desi guys. And, like all dogs exiting their territories, he was facing the daunting task of choosing between several unknown dressings. It appeared he would soon drown in the frothing lake of shame, embarrassment and dirty sniggers, he spluttered Olive oil.

A few days ago, i was at a local cafe trying to order something apart from tea and a cookie. I tentatively pointed towards a stack of bagels. The barista asked me what kind? And with my years of accumulated experience, i said i don't mind any kind. Apparently, that wasn't still good. Surprise me, i continued. That seemed to do the trick, she said, i will give you my favorite. I topped it off, with a that's my favorite kind too!. Phew! I now understand why several NRI's are heading back home to a more assured and in-control ordering experience